Self Portrait
This was my self portrait back in 1973. I had a very amazing mystical encounter with the true love of God that wiped out a lot of my tragedy-based misconceptions of God. It came as I was in the midst of acting out that pain, anger, grief, disappointment, and frustration that had childhood roots.
Through this image God granted me the ability to SEE the spiritual chains with which I was struggling. Because artistic expression comes from such a deep place (the innermost place) I shielded it from God with all my might. I did not believe I could trust Him with the innocence of a child, like I had as a child.
The encounter with the True Lover of my soul caused this painting to almost literally explode out onto canvas the next day. God continued to minister to me through this painting for years after, helping me to identify the chains, repent and permit Him to break them off me, changing my mindsets and behaviors, granting me more and more and more levels of true freedom.
This self portrait has become a mirror for many. It is not just a mirror but an impartation of living hope. What is it for you?
Into-Me-See (Inti-ma-cy)
The surrendered worshiper falls at the feet of Jesus Christ with the overflow of gratitude for the debt He paid at Calvary. The Sacrificial Lamb’s blood still flows freely for the cleansing of all sin (the mind is covered in the blood....red color on the head). There is no other way to freedom from sin.
The humble worshiper can know His protection in worship. It can feel cocoon-like, womb-like, clef-in-the-Rock-like. There is protection from and even a put-togetherness in the midst of the fragmentation of the world around the humble worshiper. The worshiper’s mind and heart are filled with praise (the orange color) and it overflows so as to wash Jesus’ feet with praise. There is a sense of the Bridal Veil Covering over the worshiper as well.
This image kept coming to me in corporate worship for several months before I realized I was to release it onto canvas. It is a combination of painted tissue papers and paint. What else do you experience in this intimate image of the humble worshiper?
Beginning
Why do we mask? Is it not fear of truth? Who is Truth? Is it not our God? So our masks really are our attempts to control goodness, to make sure we get all the goodness we think we deserve.
This is nothing more than expression of our sin nature which at the very core is all about suspicion against the goodness of God, as if God is holding out on us. It goes back to the Garden of Eden.......the thought that "God is withholding some kind of goodness we have not yet experienced..... Surely God is not enough.”
It is the Lie/lies that form and entice the masks. We mask to achieve goodness for ourselves. We choose the mask that will 'control' the outcome for us. This painting is about the person (designed to be male or female and not a definitive race) just beginning to trust the truth that it is better without the mask.
This person wants to let go of the suspicion against God’s goodness and fully trust God. This person is beginning to proclaim, “God is totally good. I can fully rely on Him and not my defensive masking. I can let Truth set me free.”
The one discarding the masks discovers true self, true grace and true freedom, indeed. Yes, there are risks. Those who want to stay masked may reject such notions and try to force the mask back on the one who attempts to reveal truth. Nonetheless, it is the beginning for this person. The smile (the joy of this) is beginning to break forth.
How about you? How many masks do you have? Have you begun to discover that joy and freedom is given to us in Christ our defender and deliverer?
The Opened Seal
I had done an extensive study about the Tree of Life and the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil over a three month period of time. I saw in Rev. (particularly chapter 22) how the Tree of Life was central to the City of God, and the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil was no more. I understood it as if the Tree of Life swallowed up the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, so ending the consequences of death forever.
These two trees are not so much literal trees (although they could be so with God) but they are absolutely two different fruit bearing realities, and they feed two opposing kingdoms, ideologies, value systems, mindsets and structures far larger than our own galaxy.
As these thoughts and images were coming together inside me I had a visual/auditory encounter. I heard thunder so great I thought the house I was in would be shaken apart. The thunder spoke three times the word, “RELEASE! RELEASE! RELEASE!”
Then I saw a great white horse with rider plunging with such force as if being ready for 2,000 years. The rider had a long staff in hand (could have been a bow) and a crown on his head. He was an ancient-looking being with flowing robes. With that plunge came the sound of hosts upon hosts of riders. The galloping of horses sounded way off in the distance, but definitely coming forward with great speed and passion as if through a time tunnel.
I heard this sound off and on for four days thereafter. I asked the Lord what I was to do with such an encounter. He indicated I was to journal it. So as I did I discovered He wanted that rider and horse to be plunging out of the Tree of Life. I gasped in surprise.
I observed that this rider was not the one who had written on his thigh 'KING OF KINGS, LORD OF LORDS'. So I asked the Lord who this rider was. He took me to Rev. 6:1-2 (the beginning of the release of the four horses).......he was one coming to conquer. I asked, “What are they coming to conquer, Lord?” He took me to Isaiah 13:1-11. There’s much there but here are some excerpts...
“......I have summoned my warriors....listen, a noise on the mountains, like that of a great multitude.....I will put an end to the arrogance of the haughty and will humble the pride of the ruthless......”
I repented instantly with the overwhelming sense of the fear of God on me. “Lord, I have arrogance in my own heart. What will save me from this reckoning force?” He gave me Isaiah 61:1-3 and eventually the painting called 'THE BRIDE’S RELEASE'. He said it would be the key of humility and the garland of praise..."HUMBLE WORSHIP
will free you from my retribution”.
Many people see many different words in this painting beyond the word intentionally painted (RELEASE). How about you? What might you see or hear?
JUSTICE COMES. HOLD FAST!
I had to have two intercessors, who were finishing a 40-day fast, onsite to help me birth this painting as quickly as possible as God wanted it done by the date 7/7/07. He wanted it to make proclamation at a football stadium in Dover, DE where prophetic people gathered for prayer and proclamation.
The words GRACE POWER covered the empty canvas.
This is the most abstract image delivered thus far. Because of its abstractness we discovered that there is a powerful revelation also when it is turned up-side-down. Imagine that! God was imparting a multi-directional revelation!
In Exodus 5 when deliverance of God’s people began with Moses and Aaron showing up on the scene, the bondage pressure got horribly worse. Moses goes to God as he comes under pressure from the people. In Exodus 6: 2-8 God re-iterates the vision and declares,“....I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with mighty acts of judgment...”
We cry out for justice day and night. So much of our culture rests on injustices of all kinds. Our Deliverer comes with a mighty arm like the mighty waters of a tsunami wave. The pressure to fall back and under, to let go and drown is so great.
God calls to the faithful, “JUSTICE COMES. HOLD FAST! Hold fast to my sustaining grace power. Extend my extravagant grace to others and yourself. Hold on to my grace. Nothing can withstand my power except my grace.”
There are three palm branches. Palms symbolize royalty and victory. God and those who fix in Him will wave these victoriously.
There is a message in this image from Daniel 7: 9-10 “thrones were set in place, and the Ancient of Days took His seat. His clothing was white like wool. His throne was flaming with fire, and its wheels were all ablaze. A river of fire was flowing, coming out from before Him. Thousands and thousands attended Him; ten thousand times ten thousand stood before Him. The court was seated, and the books were opened.”
JUSTICE COMES. HOLD FAST!
Are you holding on through all the pressures of all kinds to Him alone?
SLEEPER, WAKE UP! What are you going to do with a God like that?
The scriptural base for this painting is Ezekiel 1 and 10. One must read these passages to fully grasp the depth of this painting. There are many other perspectives to the painted revelation to be sure as it is highly symbolic.
The more sensitive one becomes to the holiness of God the more grievous ungodliness is. As I read through the Ezekiel passages I was brought into God’s heart as He grieved over Israel’s rebellious heart. Proclaiming “Holy-Holy-Holy” all over the blank canvas was a powerful intercessory act.
This painting was imparted one step at a time. I was not given everything at once. It required me to intensely listen and obey.
I became aware that this painting was not intended to be restfully pleasing. It is meant for disturbing the complacent heart and mind. Those who want to be disturbed and awakened will be drawn into it and not fully know why.
I believe this image pokes at the unprepared, in-denial, chosen sleepiness within. We tend to make God into our more comfortable images.
The humans pictured here even appear disturbingly plastic, numb and disconnected to me. Some folks find them full of peace and purity.
For me to enjoy this painting I must remember the journey of its conception and birthing – my encounter with God in its unfolding, which in the end left me exhausted and empty. Ezekiel 2: 6-8; 3: 7-9 reminded me to not yield to the lesser values that seek self-gratification.
The question remains not only in the title but also in the experience of the image. What are you going to do with a God like this?
He is a God who surrounds Himself with thunderous noises, fire, lightning, very strange speeding creatures. His environment totally blows our senses and our arrogance. We choose to sit before an image like this to let our God out of our tiny boxes.
Suddenly
Putting commentary to this painting is somewhat of a challenge for me since it is in fact only half of the revelation given to me. I sensed God was telling me to let this much of the revelation be printed. Perhaps the rest will be painted on another canvas or after awhile on top of this one.
As it stands it is highly abstract. The Cross of Christ was discovered in the painting and then further accented so many see it right away. This became a statement about the power of the cross for the whole cosmic expanse. One can find many interpretations when gazing into this window.
While I was trying to bring emphasis to the cross my paint brush seemed to struggle with the paint right at the place where the cross penetrates the sphere. I was troubled at this and I heard Holy Spirit say, “Keep pressing through”. After the struggle ended I stood back to gaze at it and asked, “What was that all about?” I sensed that a portal had been established at the approximate place where Jesus’ feet might have been on the cross. The paint strokes seem to suggest to me trafficking angels....like Jacob’s ladder....going up and down with great speed. I wonder what you will find in this painting.
Hospitality
Romans 12:13 PRACTICE HOSPITALITY
1 Peter 4:9 ….offer hospitality to one another without grumbling
3 John :8…….show hospitality…..
Titus 1:8 …..he (leader) must be hospitable………
Remember how Israel was saved through the hospitality of Joseph, the man with striped coat which was believed to be of different colors; it was as if he spread, at least by the time he was in that highest ruling position of anyone except Pharaoh, his royal, colorful garment over Israel so they could flourish in time of famine.
Psalm 104:2 The Almighty wraps himself in LIGHT as a garment. (That would be to be wrapped in the full spectrum of colors since that is what is in light.)
There are other scriptures that refer to God’s covering as a wing over those who seek Him…………a welcoming wing to be sure………welcoming them into His protection and splendor. God’s splendor and glory is extravagant pure beauty.
I began to see hospitality like a colorful fabric or cloak being draped over the one being invited. Something wonderful happens to a human who is draped in luxurious color. The whole being soaks it in like a dry sponge, more so for the more sensitive ones. The whole being starts to soften, relax and find themselves freer to be themselves, letting down the defenses and masks. Of course the more hardened one is the less of this affect is visible or even conscious on their part. One can attest to this even when giving a smile of hospitality to a stranger.
The dictionary defines hospitality in these terms.
1. Favoring the health, growth, comfort, well being of new arrivals
2. Receptive and open to new ideas
3. Gracious, offering pleasant and sustainable environment
Apparently hospitality originates in heaven. God created this amazing earth and then welcomed all inhabitants to its reflected glory.
Here in this painting we catch a glimpse of a carrier of this hospitality. He is bringing heaven’s hospitality to us. His wings are ready to wrap us into the glorious colors that enable us to come into God’s blessed rest and freedom to be who we truly are, especially in Christ. This is what WELCOME HOME looks like to me. This invisible reality is made visible, for those who have eyes to see, wherever we go. We who are in God are to be a house of prayer practicing hospitality at all times.
The little green speck showed up on the painting (seemed to be a nasty mistake when I first noticed it at the end of the painting process). I asked God what to do about it. He indicated that I was to leave it and stand back and let Holy Spirit reveal its significance. So, of course, I did. After awhile as I gazed at it I began to feel like that spot represented me………that was how small I was in proportion to this angelic being and the majesty of the splendor into which I was being welcomed. I was so humbled by this perspective.
When one sits before this painting, especially as ethereal music is being played, one can experience an amazing sense of refreshment and strengthening.
I hope you can experience this too.
The Life Changer
This painting is on the wall of NEW CREATIONS STUDIO, INC. (hair and nail design boutique) 11 South Decatur Street, Strasburg, PA 17579.
Jesus Christ is the Tree of Life, the Lion of Judah and the Lamb of God who is the only complete righteous sacrifice worthy to take away our sin. The tree, the lion and the lamb can be representations and characteristics of Jesus Christ.
The whole metamorphous sequence also speaks of who Jesus Christ is. He is the Resurrection and Life. He makes all things new, not just a little change but a completely new creation in Him. The very essence of one changes when receiving the gift of forgiveness and life through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.
The lamb can also be those who are in Christ Jesus. He is also the Good Shepherd. He is quite capable of caring for us sheep. He has the size and the power to protect us. We are in His good and wise care. We can rest in His peace.
The metamorphous of the Monarch butterfly can also represent the stages of coming to our authentic unique self through our Redeemer.
First stage is about the willingness to connect with Him and see life from another perspective.
Second stage is about entering the unknown, going into that hidden place for a Season, letting go of attempts to control, shape and design the future or even these days in this stage. The head/mind is already in a no return to the old perspective place.
Third stage is when there is no sign of life or fruit or productivity. One may feel completely invisible or hidden. It can feel like one is dying. It can be a very dark time. All kinds of fears may be flushed out at this time. Nothing is the same. Life as was known is over.
Fourth stage depicts the struggle to be very real and integrated with greater potential for flight than any other stage. This new creature is perhaps conscious of not understanding what just took place or just how different it really is now. There is a certain amount of exhaustion that causes the new creature butterfly to wait and rest at this juncture, getting oriented to life outside the cocoon in a whole different world. Its wings slowly start to stretch.
Fifth stage brings the new creature to a readiness to become the butterfly intended. It is its DNA Design. How does the once caterpillar know flight dynamics? Flight is inherent in that lowly creature. The caterpillar had to let go and let the destined design for it take it through all those mysterious stages in order to get the great joy of flight, having perceptions from the heights, opportunity to smell and taste the flowers from on high.
All these stages represent the life of the follower of Jesus Christ. With His generous, resurrection grace power we are raised from the life of animal instincts and reactions into life in the heights with elevated perspective. The flight elevation gives us opportunity to make so many better choices in life, yielding much better results in all areas of life.
My life has been radically changed by this One called the LIFE CHANGER.
Title Not Yet Revealed
This painting waits for its official title. I was commissioned by Hope Flinchbaugh to paint the image for the cover of her soon to be released book which will be sharing the amazing stories of how Jesus, the Lion of Judah, is bringing children out from under the crushing oppression of the North Korean rule. Many children are fighting for survival in the deepest hiding places. Some escape with the whole intent of getting strong enough to set the rest free.
I could hardly paint the little faces. Jesus was so intensely calling that child by name, kissing and rocking that little one in the depths of His love while I was painting the little face. I had to stop in between each face until Jesus would strengthen me to paint the next one. It was one of the most intense intercessory paintings I have done to this point. Oh, what a heart Jesus has for His persecuted people!
The cross becomes a stake piercing right through that country (the black wolf-like shape under the Lion of Judah). The Lion of Judah looks almost 'stuffed toy'-like. I believe it is the way a child would see such a ferocious lion. They would not see the mightiness as a threat to them.
In Matt. 18:6 Jesus warns those who would cause children to not be able to see Him. Praise to God these children are finding Jesus in spite of the horror they have to go through. He is bringing them out in amazing ways. Watch for Hope’s book. Her website is: www.seehope.com
Do you see or hear the cry of the oppressed of North Korea? Will you pray for them? Our Great Intercessor bleeds for them.
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